Reclaiming Your Independence: Part 4

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A 4-Part Series for Stroke Survivors Ready to Rebuild Confidence and Daily Life

In this compassionate and practical series, we break down what independence really means after stroke—and how to make daily life feel manageable again, one small win at a time.

1. Redefining Independence After Stroke: It’s Not What You Think

2. Small Wins, Big Shifts: Tiny Steps Toward Daily Living Independence

3. Tools, Adaptations, and Asking for Help Without Shame

4. Celebrating Progress: The Milestones We Don’t Talk About Enough

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Celebrating Progress: The Milestones We Don’t Talk About Enough

Let me say this clearly:

If you are only celebrating big wins, you are missing the truth of your recovery.

Stroke recovery is not just about walking again or driving again.

It’s about showing up for your life in new ways—one difficult, courageous, quiet moment at a time.

Progress Doesn’t Always Look Like a Before-and-After Photo

Some progress is invisible to the outside world:

- You didn’t cry when brushing your teeth with your nondominant hand today.

- You stayed regulated when someone interrupted your routine.

- You asked for help without spiraling into shame.

You're starting to learn little routines that work for you to have your best days.

You're also learning more about yourself—and that’s a win.

For me, I realized I could never rush to an appointment again. If I did, my brain would shut down. I’d forget my keys, leave my purse on a bench, or get overwhelmed and spiral.

So I changed the plan: I slowed everything down.

And funny enough? I started enjoying the help I used to dread asking for.

I found I loved those little micro-interactions—asking someone for directions or help with a door. I was lonely, and those moments became small lifelines of connection throughout my day.

As a matter of routine, I also started telling every Uber driver the same thing when I got in the car:

“Hi, I recently had a stroke. When we get to my destination, can you please help me make sure I have all my belongings?”

Before that? I’d lost so many nice jackets—and every time, I’d just file it under “collateral stroke damage” and try to let it go.

But asking for help became my new rule—a self-made system to protect myself and my stuff.

That’s not dependence. That’s self-advocacy. And it worked.

Why Celebrating Matters (Even the “Small Stuff”)

Your brain is wired to reinforce whatever you focus on.

When you pause to acknowledge a win—even a tiny one—you light up reward pathways in your brain that fuel momentum.

Celebrating isn’t about being fake or overly positive.

It’s about saying, “That mattered. I matter. This effort is worth noticing.”

Celebration creates resilience. And in stroke recovery, resilience is everything.

Make It a Habit: The Victory List

Here’s one simple practice I recommend to clients (and use myself):

Start a Victory List.

Every night (or week, if that’s easier), jot down:

- 1 thing you did today that you couldn’t do a month ago

- 1 moment you chose rest over shame

- 1 way you showed up for your healing

You’ll start to see a pattern—not just of recovery, but of becoming someone stronger, wiser, and more self-respecting than before.

Honor What You Value—Not What Others Expect

Recovery doesn’t come with a universal checklist.

For some people, a milestone might be:

- Returning to work

- Running again

- Driving on the freeway

But for you, it might be:

- Managing overstimulation without a meltdown

- Cooking something without supervision

- Enjoying a meal without feeling sad

There is no "right" milestone.

There’s only your milestone—and it deserves a moment of honor.

Let’s Name—and Claim—Your Wins

I work with stroke survivors who don’t need more pressure.

They need someone to say, “Look what you just did. That matters.”

If you’re ready to acknowledge your progress and find joy in the recovery you do have (instead of only grieving what you don’t), I’d be honored to help.

📩 Reach out for a coaching consult—and bring your Victory List. We’ll read it together, and I’ll help you add to it.